Ive been busy being depressed. addicted to bad okCupid dates and shitty one night stands, my Tumblr feed, and anything that distracts me. Recently I’ve been drinking too much and exercising too little. It is time to reclaim myself.
For the past several years, my somewhat ironic new year’s resolution was always the same: to drink more and work less. To my surprise, I actually managed to accomplish this in 2012. Like most things I think that I have overachieved at this goal and strapped on a few pounds of fat as a result.
More seriously, though, this reflects a sea change in my priorities. My career at a multinational has never been in line with what I considered important, but they just kept on stuffing money in my pockets, so I just did it with a certain sprit of irony. However, I am beginning to realize that my life may be half over and I am not doing things that really matter.
To that end, I aim to change this.
Overall goals are to continue to cut the fat from my life, both metaphorically and literally. Two years ago I had a 3000 Sq foot house and a bunch of crap to fill it. Now I live in a apartment in the city with enough stuff to fill a cargo van. I don’t need stuff and I view with a critical eye every purchase that I make.
I need to extend this frugality to other aspects of my life. I spend altogether too much time chasing girls, drinking, and eating when I need to realign my focus on what I want to be. Sex can be an occasional thing with MJ for now.
I need to filter the major stuff through 5 whys before doing it. If it doesn’t support what it is that I would like to do it needs to be deferred or cut out. For instance:
The meandering and ponderous prose here points to the need for more practice. Clear writing supports clear thinking.
Finalize this damn thing, for everyone’s sake. Top financial priority for this year. All money needs to go toward this end.
Depression has had a grip on me for the past two and a half years and I have gained at least 40 lbs. I need to lose it. I feel better, I think better, I am better when I am in better shape.
Over the past 6 months I have been focusing on making my own food again. Not only do I find that I enjoy doing it, It is flat out better from a financial and health perspective.
Areas of focus this year will be:
Learn how to make Indian food
Learn how to bake
Why? Well because I enjoy it. Not everything has to have a deep, existential meaning.
After spending December doing jack all after 2 years of non stop working I have gotten used to my new job. This, though, has really caused me to drift from what is important to me. I need to monitor progress on all of the above, otherwise I will continue to just be a monkey jacking off to his own thoughts until the day that I die.